It was difficult to watch Carlie Bruscia being taken away to what we know was her death. It was particularly painful for her parents. They taught her not to talk to or go off with strangers Yet there she was, following him with reluctance, but no resistance.
In the aftermath, the media has focussed on why the killer was even out on the street. I have not seen talk about why she went so easily. Here's my theory:
The guy was wearing a uniform. She's cutting through a car wash parking lot. A guy wearing a car wash uniform stops her. I believe he said something like "you're on private property. Come with me."
In all the talks with children about safety, we do not emphasis this scenario enough. Yet the fake uniform and show of authority is an old ploy. We still teach our children, especially preteens entering the rebellious years, to respect authority no matter what.
For reasons too long to go into here, I have often worried about this scenario. so we have a plan that we practice regularly. The twins have cel phones. If they are stopped by anyone with "authority" they are instructed to say, "ok I will go with you but I must call my mother." A legitimate security guard will respect this request. A "bad guy" won't. We practice the encounter with them. We're hoping it reduces one more risk.
Eleven year olds are young. Young, trusting, and still very mindful of adult authority. A grown up says you do something, you do it.
It's hardwired and there's damn all you can do about it. About the only substantial thing you can do is keep the little ones supervised. If you need something from the store take the child with you. Make sure there's adult supervision wherever young children congregate. Be on the lookout for anyone and every one who's just hanging around.
Carlie was put in an impossible situation. A year or two older she would've been able to resist. But not at 11. The situation was stacked against her, and because it was she died.
At the same time, self confidence training could help. Teach the child he has the right to defend himself against anyone who scares him. A stranger does anything that scares him he has the right to hurt the stranger. Cause the stranger pain and run away. When it comes to a choice between you and somebody who's hurting you, you matter and not him.
To put this as bluntly as I can, those who seek to harm others without provocation have no rights. Any society that forgets this will die.
That's my take.
Posted by: Alan Kellogg at February 23, 2004 09:00 AM (Permalink)I like Alan's view. And much of why that's so is the great number of occasions where I see people say that unkind words are the worst thing they can imagine having to deal with.
And they say this after watching Carlie getting hauled away by a killer.
Posted by: McGehee at February 23, 2004 10:27 AM (Permalink)I believe Carlie's mother is partly to blame for her daughters death due to the fact that Carlie should NOT have been out alone no matter what time of day it was. We all know how unsafe it is in this world today. She was just a little girl still.
Posted by: Missy at May 12, 2004 02:16 AM (Permalink)Why didn't Carlie run?!
Her killer obviously fooled her by wearing a uniform.
Didn't Carlie sense trouble letting a stranger lead her away?
And why no resistance?
We'll never know.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. Euripides (484 BC - 406 BC), The Bacchae, circa 407 B.C.
Posted by: consolidate credit card debt at November 21, 2004 03:08 AM (Permalink)Strength to Love, 1963 Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity. Nick Diamos
Posted by: consolidation debt free qoutes at November 22, 2004 01:16 AM (Permalink)