Calblog

Light, Religion, War, Peace, and Litigation

The first day of Congress ended. The second session was called Encountering the Light, an hour and a half of meditation and lecture. The central message that God is Light and our souls are a source of Light. By praying or meditating on the light inside, we reach our soul, which is our connection to God, the greater Light. Either an entirely revolutionary concept that opens a whole new world or a remarkably basic one, depending on whether you have discovered it before. Because it draws heavily on eastern mysticism, it was new to a fair number of the western Catholic audience.

Having studied eastern philosophies, within and without Christianity, I was not turned inside out. However, I appreciated some of the insights that were phrased in ways that were new and useful and I am always happy to spend some time in group contemplative prayer.

One thread that I was enjoying was the discussion of how negative feelings blocked our access to the internal source of light. One cannot connect with the soul when angry or jealous or afraid or anxious. A truth I have learned but need to be reminded of. I consistently fall into the trap of become fearful and then wondering why things aren't going right, assuming erroneously that I am afraid because things are going wrong when, in fact, things are going wrong because I am afraid.

Then, as I was absorbing this message, which I have to relearn regularly, the speaker said something that startled me. She said "when we are children of the light and we are connected to the light, we cannot go to war." Her logic, which made sense, was that we can't attack and kill and hate when we are focussed on the light.

Well, it made sense and I had to examine my views on the war, which I would like to avoid, but which I am prepared for because it may well be unavoidable. I do not feel any negativity or anger when I think about the war. In contrast, I see a fair amount of anger, fear and anxiety in those on the side of "peaceful". So I had to reconcile my feelings of inner peace with my outer preparedness for whatever eventuality a war would bring.

I think there's an assumption on the part of this speaker and on the part of the anti-war proponents in general that those of us ready for the war are just aggressive types who hate those people who are "different" from us. I think there's a further assumption that when we speak of a just war, we are just trying to rationalize our own evil feelings.

I probably won't change any minds, but in the interest of full discussion, I'd like to share my feelings. If, in the middle of that lecture, someone had rushed the stage and tried to kill that woman, I would not have sat there and sent beams of light. I would have intervened. (And, yes, I am the type to tackle a crazed lunatic. Fortunately, my lifestyle brings me in contact with few crazed lunatics and the ones I have encountered have been stilled by the mere fact that I look ready to take them on.) My intervention would have involved no anger or negativity towards the attacker. Instead, I would have acted out because I was moved to compassion for the victim.

I litigate very little these days. Fighting in court no longer holds much attraction and winning holds even less. Most of my practice is devoted to mediation (and most of that for free) because it is more satisfying. Yet I currently have a few cases which draw and hold my attention. When I go to court, I go without negative feelings and I don't go to fight. My willingness to enter into a dispute is motivated by compassion for my client and the desire to protect them. Shortly before the end of last year, I spent two days in court trying to stop an action that would have disrupted my client's business and the lives of the client and his employees. My feelings in that courtroom were not negative. There was a fair amount of prayer on my part and not of the "let me win" type but of the "show me what you want me to be doing here, Lord" type.

I spent one trial several years ago with a rosary in my pocket, praying for peace while I waged the necessary battle. The case settled in the middle of trial even though the opposing side had threatened to "destroy" my client.

When I think of Iraq and Saddam, I think of the tales of his treatment of his own people, which is best read elsewhere as I cannot bring myself to type the details. I cannot turn away. I think of my concern that a man who would do that is merely waiting for a chance to do that to those I know more personally. I still pray for peace. But my wish for peace does not prevent my willingness to wage the battle to protect those victims and potential victims.

[By the way, I know I am not going myself. They wouldn't want me. I'm not the raw physical specimen you'd want taking on the Republican Guard, even if they're not as elite as they believe. I don't think my views would be different if I was making the direct sacrifice.]

Posted by Justene Adamec at February 28, 2003 08:13 PM