I applied for ROTC once and then backed out. I wasn't afraid of dying. I was afraid they'd ask me to kill someone. I say that not as a rationalization but because I remember the moment in the interview when the interviewer told me that, as a woman (in the 70s) I'd be out of harm's way but I might be expected to push a button that would cause someone else's death. I said thank you very much and left, cancelling my appointment for the medical exam.
One of my cases has taken a turn for the nasty. I discovered in one of life's too few moments of insight that I can remain calm no matter what's being directed at me. It's when I make the decision that I will be compromised by "staying above it all" and it's time for me to start tossing a few salvos that I start to lose my focus.
I ran across the old Patton quote tonight. "The purpose of war is not to die for your country but to make the other guy die for his." I'm not sure I could do it. I used to think it was a sign of how evolved I was. I'm not so sure now. Now I think it's just a different form of cowardice.
Posted by Justene Adamec at March 27, 2003 04:45 AM